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16 Year Old
Learns Life Saving Lesson
From S.A.F.E. Network's
Safe Teen Programs |
SA.F.E. staff often hears about situations where our Personal Protection Empowerment curriculum has benefited kids and teens in challenging and life threatening situations. We don't report them however, unless we get the story in writing. We are sharing this one now, because it is so vital , and this 16 year old foster teen is to be commended for her strength of character and self esteem that gave her the courage to take care of herself in potentially dangerous situations.
Those of you teens who either are having an online relationship or are thinking about it, please, read this girl's story, and then think again.
Here is the story we received from the Director of one of the California foster agencies we are currently working with.
" Don: Here are her experiences.
One of our sixteen year-old foster girls has been involved with a 23 year-old boyfriend for over 9 months. She was taught the personal safety strategies through the safe network materials and looked at the early warning signs that a teen-age relationship may eventually become abusive. When she inventoried that her relationship with this boyfriend had 13 out of the 15 warning signs, she got very quiet and tears came to her eyes and she said to our staff member, "He's going to hurt me, isn't he?" She quickly ended that relationship.
She went on to examine her internet relationships and used the materials from safe internet practices to recognize that she needed to terminate the guys who were trying to call her at 2 a.m. and didn't respect her emotional boundaries. Recently, she had a boyfriend who bit her. She told him that this was a sign of an abusive relationship and promptly ended this relationship as well.
It has been neat to see her growth and sense of
increased self-worth as she works with this material.
-Ben "
Is It Rape? 
Is It OK?
video psa's made available by Illionois Coalition Against Sexual Assault
Click on the Links Above and Watch and Learn.
Bullying, Not Terrorist Attack, Biggest Threat Seen By U.S.Teens The National Crime Prevention Council (NCPC)...today [1/14/03] findings from a survey conducted by Wirthlin Worldwide "show that bullying is the terrorist threat that most frightens America's teenagers and interferes with their education." -NCPC web site.
If you are being bullied, terrorized or otherwise hounded by any kind of predator, (including sexual predators), you must know you are not alone. (When we say predator, we mean a parent, someone at school, a teacher, a church leader, in otherwords anyone)
Have they convinced you that no one will believe you? Have they told you that no one will love you the same as before, or that it was your fault in the first place? Maybe they have told you that you are such a total loser and deserve what you get? Or that no one will care about you as much as they do? LISTEN UP. THEY ARE LIERS and COWARDS. They will do and say anything to keep you quiet. So. they only way you are going to get your life back, is to tell an adult you know you can trust. If you still are afraid to talk to anyone you know, there are great people who care and know what to do. See the TEEN HOT LINES link just on the left here? Click on it. You aren't alone, and you aren't a loser. Everything they tell you to keep you quiet is a lie. SO, Start TOday, you have the right to be safe and feel secure, not afraid or sad, or alone.
What is Bullying?
Bullying is when someone keeps doing or saying things to have power over another person.
Some of the ways they bully other people are by: Calling them names, Saying or writing nasty things about them, Leaving them out of activities, Not talking to them, Threatening them, Making them feel uncomfortable or scared, Taking or damaging their things, Hitting or kicking them, or Making them do things they don’t want to do.
Have any of these things happened to you? Have you done any of these things to someone else? Bullying is unacceptable behavior, which makes the person being bullied feel afraid or uncomfortable.
Why do some people bully? There are a lot of reasons why some people bully. They may see it as a way of being popular, or making themselves look tough and in charge.
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Some people bully to get attention or things, or to make other people afraid of them. Others might be jealous of the person they are bullying. They may be being bullied themselves.
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Some bullies may not even understand how wrong their behavior is and how it makes the person being bullied feel.
Why are some kids bullied?
Some kids are bullied for no particular reason, but sometimes it’s because they are different in some way - perhaps it’s the color of their skin, the way they talk, their size, their name or a handicap they must deal with. |
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Sometimes young people are bullied because they look like they can’t stand up for themselves.
STEPS TO TAKE TO AVOID BEING BULLIED
1. Try not to give the bully an easy victim. Be someone the bully does not want to pick on. Work on building good self-esteem. If you feel confident inside yourself you won’t look like a victim and it will be easier for you to stand up for your rights.
Work on building good self-esteem by:
· identifying what you are good at
· be involved in activities that you enjoy build, branch out or expand your hobbies and talents
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Presenting yourself with confidence: |
· Make eye contact when speaking with someone
· Use good posture (stand straight, shoulders back, be aware of personal space—3 -6 feel)
· Pay attention to what you wear—is it right for the situation?
2. Develop ties with friends and family. This will help you to feel less isolated. It will also provide you with support and someone to talk to.
Here are some ideas of where you might be able to get support.
Your friends |
You may find that you aren’t the only one being bullied. Hang around with your friends, the bully might get bored waiting to catch you alone. Stick up for others who are being bullied. |
Hopefully you can talk to your parents and you can discuss your problems easily. They care about you and may have some ideas to help or may support you by talking to someone at school or where the problem is. |
Your parents |
Your teacher |
Most teachers know how to handle bully situations and will be able to help you. If your teacher doesn’t help then go and see your principal. |
 
Your coach or group leader
If the problem is during a group activity then it is up to the adult to support you. If there is a bully at work in your team then the team will not be doing their best. |
If you have no one that you feel comfortable talking to then go to your police station. Police do not like bullies and will be able to give you some information that might help you.
If you are still uneasy about the situation you must revisit someone that gave you support. DO NOT GIVE UP. Keep telling until someone listens. |
 The police
or a
community
leader
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Why is bullying harmful? |
Some people think bullying is just part of growing up and a way for young people to learn to stick up for themselves. But bullying can make young people feel lonely, unhappy and frightened. It makes them feel unsafe and think there must be something wrong with them. They lose confidence and may not want to go to school any more. It may make them sick.
What can you do if you are being bullied?
Coping with bullying can be difficult, but remember, you are not the problem, the bully is. You have a right to feel safe and secure.
And if you’re different in some way, be proud of it! Kia Kaha -stand strong. Spend time with your friends - bullies hardly ever pick on people if they’re with others in a group.
You’ve probably already tried ignoring the bully, telling them to stop and walking away whenever the bullying starts.
If someone is bullying you, you should always tell an adult you can trust. This isn’t telling tales. You have a right to be safe and adults can do things to get the bullying stopped.
Even if you think you’ve solved the problem on your own, tell an adult anyway, in case it happens again.
An adult you can trust might be a teacher, school principal, parent, someone from your family, or a friend’s parent. If you find it difficult to talk about being bullied, you might find it easier to write down what’s been happening to you and give it to an adult you trust.
What can you do if you see someone else being bullied? |
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If you see someone else being bullied you should always try to stop it. If you do nothing, you’re saying that bullying is okay with you. The best way to help is probably to tell an adult. It’s always best to treat others the way you would like to be treated.
You should show the bully that you think what they’re doing is stupid and mean. Help the person being bullied to tell an adult they can trust.
Have you ever bullied someone else? Think about why you did it and how you were feeling at the time. If you are sometimes a bully, try to find other ways to make yourself feel good.
Most bullies aren’t liked, even if it starts out that way.
Remember, it’s best to treat others the way you would like to be treated.
